life of a cool nerd

When most people see me they think one of two things. One being the most thought and the more apparent: Good goolly shes big! I know many people don't actually say good golly but you get my drift. The other is simular to the first: I wonder why she is so white? Most people who know me fairly well still ask this almost everyday. Yes, I do go outside, but when I'm in the sun i burn and burn only. My body will never know what it feels like to look like my ancestors the American Cherokee Indians. I dream of this frequently. Another thing that irks me is that nobody sees through my happy persona. They think because I have a smile on my face it means I'm actually smiling and that I'm happy almost all the time. I'm not. Smiling when i'm sad is a trick my pycologist taught me when i was younger to help with my depression, though most dont know that about me. The reason i decided on life of a cool nerd is because i act totally nerdy. i love corny jokes and the adrenaline i get after solving a once complicated math problem. i love to read and write and i am working on a novel intitled Break-ups, Birthday cake, and Blood. Wierd title i know if you want to know what its about you will have to read future posts! love, peace and music of the soul!